Meta Description: Join Dr. David Noe and Dr. Jeff Winkle in “Vomitorium West” as they tackle the Encomium of Helen by the sophist Gorgias. From the “face that launched a thousand ships” to the drug-like power of words, the hosts explore why Helen of Troy might be innocent—and why nothing exists (according to Gorgias).
Introduction: The “Gang” Returns to Vomitorium West
Welcome back to the “Vomitorium,” listeners! It is Episode 47 of the Ad Navseam Podcast, and hosts Dr. David Noe and Dr. Jeff Winkle are broadcasting from their new permanent studio digs, affectionately dubbed “Vomitorium West.”
Last week, the team was still in transit. This week, they are settling in, though Dr. Noe notes that they are still enduring the “grueling” rehearsals of dance routines and pancake makeup application required for their eventual video debut. Until the visual experience is ready, you will have to settle for the audio brilliance of the hosts as they dive into 5th-century Athens.
Before diving into the philosophy, Dr. Winkle gives a special shout-out to listener Graham Weber from Waterloo, Illinois. Graham, an occupational safety specialist and expectant father, is suffering from parosmia (a post-COVID distortion of smell) which has tragically rendered coffee—the lifeblood of this podcast—unpalatable to him. Graham, the hosts dedicate this episode to you.
Gorgias: The Master of Persuasion
Who is Gorgias of Leontini? As Dr. Winkle explains, he is a famous Sophist who arrived in Athens around 427 BC and caused an absolute sensation. He is the man who brought prose to life. Before Gorgias, impressive speech was almost exclusively the domain of poetry. Gorgias changed the game by introducing poetic devices—rhythm, rhyme, and parallelism—into spoken rhetoric.
But Gorgias wasn’t just a stylist; he was a radical skeptic. Dr. Noe walks us through Gorgias’s three-part philosophical thesis that borders on total nihilism:
- Nothing exists.
- If it does exist, it cannot be comprehended.
- If it can be comprehended, it cannot be communicated to others.
If nothing exists and nothing can be communicated, why teach? Dr. Noe notes that for Gorgias, the goal was not truth, but persuasion. He claimed he could answer any question on any topic to everyone’s satisfaction—not by imparting knowledge, but by using the power of words to shape reality.
The Encomium of Helen: Defending the Indefensible
To demonstrate this power, Gorgias wrote the Encomium of Helen, a speech in defense of Helen of Troy. As Dr. Winkle points out, Helen was the “everlasting memorial of hardships,” universally reviled as the cause of the Trojan War. Gorgias sets out to prove her innocence using four logical arguments. If any of these is true, she cannot be blamed.
1. The Will of the Gods (Fate)
Dr. Winkle explains the first argument: if Helen’s abduction was the will of the gods, no human could resist. “It does not happen that the stronger is hindered by the weaker.” If the gods willed it, Helen is merely a victim of Fate.
2. Physical Force (Abduction)
What if Paris (Alexander) simply kidnapped her? Dr. Noe translates the passage noting that if she was abducted violently, Paris is the barbarian criminal who broke the law, and she is the pitiable victim. If she was forced, she is innocent.
3. The Power of Speech (Logos)
Here, Gorgias enters his true area of expertise. Dr. Noe highlights the famous comparison of words to drugs (pharmaka). Just as drugs can alter the body, persuasive words can “intoxicate and bewitch the soul.” If Helen was persuaded by sophisticated rhetoric, she was essentially drugged by words and cannot be blamed.
4. The Power of Love (Eros)
Finally, Dr. Winkle notes the appeal to Eros. If Helen fell in love, she was under the influence of a god. “If the eye of Helen was delighted by the body of Alexander… what is so surprising about that?” If Love is a divine power, a mortal cannot resist it. Therefore, she was compelled by a force stronger than her own will.
The Punchline: It’s Just a Joke
Gorgias builds an ironclad case. He proves that whether by Fate, Force, Speech, or Love, Helen is innocent. But then, as Dr. Noe reveals, Gorgias pulls the rug out from under the audience in the very last sentence:
“I have wished to write this both as an encomium of Helen and as my little joke (paignion).”
The whole speech was a game—a paignion—designed to show off his skill. He wasn’t necessarily interested in justice for Helen; he just wanted to prove he could make the weaker argument the stronger.
A Brief Detour: The Mathematics of Beauty
No discussion of Helen would be complete without quantifying her beauty. Dr. Noe and Dr. Winkle take a delightful detour into the “Millihelen”—a unit of beauty coined by Isaac Asimov based on Marlowe’s line about the “face that launched a thousand ships.”
- 1 Millihelen: The beauty required to launch one ship.
- -1 Millihelen: The ugliness required to sink a battleship.
- 1 Terahelen: A beauty capable of launching one quadrillion warships and wreaking galactic havoc.
Sponsors
This deep dive into sophistry was brought to you by:
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The Gustatory Parting Shot
Dr. Winkle leaves us with a quote from the great golfer Chi Chi Rodriguez, perfectly suited for anyone contemplating the morality of their diet:
“Come on, red meat’s not bad for you. Blue-green meat, that’s bad for you!”
Valete!
