Meta Description: Join Dr. Jeff Winkle and Dr. David Noe in Ad Navseam Episode 60 for a spooky Halloween special. From the child-eating Mormo to the shape-shifting Empusa, explore the monsters that haunted the ancient imagination. Plus, discover the original haunted house story from Pliny the Younger, the mystery of the “Ghost Barber,” and why the Latin language has the perfect vocabulary for terror.
Introduction: Drizzle and Pantomime in the Vomitorium
Welcome back to the Vomitorium, listeners! It is Episode 60 of the Ad Navseam Podcast, and the atmosphere is suitably gloomy. It is a drizzly evening, and your hosts, Dr. David Noe and Dr. Jeff Winkle, are feeling the seasonal chill. Dr. Winkle asks if Dr. Noe is in a good mood, to which Noe replies, “I wouldn’t say that.” He reminds us that he put the “I” in “irascible” . However, despite the grumpy demeanor, there was a bit of “pantomime” occurring at the doors of the studio—a silent comedy routine that Dr. Noe suggests might make for a “radical” (if silent) podcast episode.
But there will be no silence tonight. As Halloween approaches, the hosts are ready to explore the creaky floorboards and shadowed corners of the Classical world. It is time for ancient ghost stories, monsters, and the things that go bump in the Greek and Latin languages.
Shout-Out: The Historian of the Firth
Before we descend into the underworld, we have an international shout-out to Jaap Jacobs. Jaap is a historian of early American history and Dutch colonial expansion, currently affiliated with the University of St. Andrews in Scotland. He wrote in to say he listened to the “Mottos Galore” episode while taking a long walk . This sparks a delightful tangent about Scotland. Dr. Winkle recalls looking out over the Firth of Forth from “Arthur’s Seat” (or “Arthur’s Footstool”). Dr. Noe, ever the pedant, drops a serious knowledge bomb: the Latin name for the Firth of Forth is Bodotria. He knows this because he taught from L.A. Wilding’s Latin for Schools, which catalogs the place names of Roman Britain. To Jaap, walking the shores of Bodotria: Gratias tibi agimus!
The Opening Quote: Fingerprint Powder of the Dead
Dr. Winkle sets the spooky stage with a quote from Sarah Iles Johnston’s book, Restless Dead. It offers a profound theory on why we tell ghost stories.
“The dead are often credited with remarkable powers… Through their excesses, the dead reveal, like fingerprint powder shaken over a table, where desires, fears, and angers are most acute among the living.”
The idea is that the dead are a “mirror” of the living. They want what we want—food, love, revenge—but they want it more. As Dr. Noe puts it, if we want an eight-piece bucket of chicken, the dead want the twelve-piece family pack. They are defined by excess.
Monster 1: Mormo (The Nursemaid’s Threat)
The first monster on the docket is Mormo. This is a female, proto-vampire or succubus figure from Greek folklore. She isn’t a marquee monster like the Minotaur; she is a nursery bogeyman. Ancient parents would actually tell their children, “Watch out, Mormo bites,” to scare them into staying in bed. Dr. Noe notes that if he told his youngest child that, he would have to spread thumbtacks and peanut butter on the floor to ensure safety.
Etymology: The name likely comes from mormos (fear) or mormolyke (terrible wolf). She is associated with Hecate and resembles the modern urban legend of La Llorona (the Weeping Woman)—a mother who lost her children and now haunts the living in a rage. Aristophanes mentions her in his plays, using the phrase “Take away that Mormo!” when a character sees something too hideous to behold. It’s a useful phrase for modern traffic jams or bad days at work: “This day is such a Mormo”.
Monster 2: Lamia (The Man-Eater)
Next up is the Lamia, a more Roman-era monster.
While Mormo scares kids, Lamia targets young men. She is a shape-shifting vampire who lures men in with beauty before devouring them.
Dr. Winkle reads a story from Philostratus’s Life of Apollonius of Tyana. A young philosopher named Menippus falls in love with a beautiful, wealthy Phoenician woman. She promises him wine, luxury, and no rivals.
Apollonius, the wandering sage, attends the wedding and ruins the vibe completely. He looks at the bride and says:
“This fine bride is one of the vampires… beings whom the many regard as lamias… they decoy with such delights those whom they mean to devour.”
It is, as Dr. Winkle notes, the “worst best man speech of all time.” But it saves Menippus from being eaten. Dr. Noe compares the Lamia to the subject of the Hall and Oates song “Maneater”—though in antiquity, the consumption was quite literal.
Monster 3: Empusa (The Shape-Shifter)
The third monster is the Empusa. Sent by Hecate to frighten travelers at crossroads, the Empusa is defined by her instability. She constantly changes shape—from a cow, to a dog, to a beautiful woman. Dr. Noe notes that for a rural “rusticus” like himself, taking the trash out at night was a terrifying ordeal because of creatures like this. The darkness allows the imagination to invent monsters.
How to Defeat Her:
According to legend, the only way to defeat an Empusa is to insult it. If you mock it, it will shriek and flee.
Dr. Noe and Dr. Winkle act out a scene from Aristophanes’ Frogs, where the slave Xanthias terrifies the god Dionysus by claiming he sees an Empusa in the underworld.
“Now her whole face looks like it’s on fire! Does she have a leg made of bronze? Yes… and the other one seems to be made of cow dung.”
It turns out Xanthias is making it all up, but the fear of the shifting beast is real.
Ghost Story 1: Pliny’s Haunted House
The hosts move from monsters to “honest to goodness” ghost stories. The first comes from a letter by Pliny the Younger. It is the archetype for every haunted house movie ever made (think Poltergeist or Amityville Horror). The Setup: A large house in Athens sits empty because it is haunted. In the dead of night, people hear the clanking of iron chains. A specter of an emaciated old man with a long beard appears, rattling fetters. The Hero: The philosopher Athenodorus rents the house because it’s cheap. He sets up his desk and works through the night. When the ghost appears and beckons him, Athenodorus coolly signals for the ghost to “wait a minute” while he finishes his writing. (A true scholar!) . The Resolution: He eventually follows the ghost to the courtyard (area domus). The ghost vanishes. Athenodorus marks the spot with leaves. The next day, they dig it up and find a skeleton in chains. They give it a proper burial, and the haunting stops. It is a classic tale of the “Restless Dead” needing peace.
The Ghost Barber: Pliny also tells a weirder story about a “Ghost Barber.” A boy sleeping in Pliny’s house wakes up to find his hair has been cut. The clippings are scattered on the floor. Pliny interprets this as a good omen! Since people facing trial usually grow their hair out (due to stress), he believes the ghost cutting his servants’ hair meant that he (Pliny) was escaping prosecution from the Emperor Domitian. It’s a bizarre twist on the talismanic use of hair.
Ghost Story 2: The Corpse Bride
The final story comes from Phlegon of Tralles. It involves a girl named Philinnion who dies but returns to visit a guest named Machates. They eat, drink, and exchange gifts. When her parents discover her, she scolds them for interrupting her divine return and dies again immediately. The Twist: They open her tomb and find it empty, except for the gifts Machates gave her. The town Augur, Hyllus, advises them to burn the body outside the city walls and perform sacrifices to Hermes Chthonios and the Eumenides. Tragically, Machates, distraught by the whole affair, commits suicide. It is a darker, sadder story than Pliny’s, emphasizing the danger of mingling with the dead.
Sponsors: Fuel for Your Nightmares
This tour of ancient horror is brought to you by:
- Hackett Publishing: For the best collections of ancient myths and philosophy (like the Plato Reader by C.D.C. Reeve).
- The Deal: Visit hackettpublishing.com and use code AN2021 for 20% off and free shipping.
- Ratio Coffee: Dr. Noe uses the Ratio 8, and Dr. Winkle uses the Ratio 6. They banish ugly appliances and bad coffee from your kitchen.
- The Deal: Visit ratiocoffee.com and use code ANCO for 15% off.
- The Moss Method: Want to read Aristophanes’ ghost jokes in the original Greek? Dr. Noe’s self-paced course guides you from “Neophyte to Erudite.”
- The Deal: Visit mossmethod.com to start your journey.
Halloween Banter and The Parting Shot
The episode winds down with some crucial Halloween opinions.
- Candy: Candy corn is the “number one worst candy of all time.” Full-size Snickers bars are the gold standard. Dr. Winkle admits to “Dad Taxing” his kids’ Almond Joys and replacing them with “Almond Grief”.
- Costumes: Dr. Noe recalls dressing as a robot and being mistaken for an oven, and that he once dressed as Groucho Marx, complete with a real cigar and an orange juice can lid on his head.
The Gustatory Parting Shot:
Dr. Winkle leaves us with a joke from the late, great Mitch Hedberg, perfectly suited for the hungry traveler:
“I ordered a club sandwich, but I’m not even a member. I like my sandwiches with three pieces of bread. ‘Well, so do I!’ ‘Then let’s form a club.'”
Valete! (And watch out for the Mormo).
Resources for the Latin Learner:The Moss Method: Ready to read about the Empusa in Greek? Visit latinperdiem.com to sign up for Dr. Noe’s course.
