Meta Description: Join Dr. Jeff Winkle and Dr. David Noe in the sesquicentennial Episode 150 of Ad Navseam as they dive into the satirical genius of Lucian of Samosata. Discover the ancient world’s first science fiction, the truth about the snake god Glycon, and why writing about true crime is like cleaning out the Augean stables. Plus, the Latin language, the new Ratio 4, and the tragedy of cotton candy.
Introduction: The Sesquicentennial Episode and Aerosmith Puns
Welcome back, classical gourmands, to a very special milestone: Episode 150 of the Ad Navseam Podcast! It is the official sesquicentennial episode, and your hosts, Dr. David C. Noe (who jokes that the “C” stands for crotchety) and Dr. Jeffrey T. Winkle (whose “T” stands for Thomas), are broadcasting from the depths of Vomitorium South, currently located in the RHB bookstore warehouse. It seems like only yesterday they were huddled under a blanket in Dr. Noe’s living room to provide makeshift acoustic baffling, but the podcast has come a long way since those primitive early recordings.
The beautiful mid-May summer weather has arrived in Michigan, with temperatures in the 70s and 80s allowing the hosts to peacefully perambulate around their neighborhoods without a care in the world. Dr. Winkle is unwinding from the academic semester and decides to kick off the episode with a heavily protracted, groan-inducing anecdote. He describes visiting a dive bar with grease and grime on the door, where he spots a familiar-looking 70s sitcom actor. Turning to the patron next to him, Jeff delivers the punchline: “That dude looks like a Brady” (a terrible pun on the famous Aerosmith song). Having survived this gauntlet of dad jokes, Dr. Noe eagerly steers the ship toward the actual classical topic of the day.
Enter Lucian: The Equal Opportunity Offender
Taking a brief break from their long-running series on Henri-Irénée Marrou and the history of education in antiquity, the hosts plunge into the bizarre, hilarious, and highly sarcastic world of a second-century Greek author: Lucian of Samosata.
To set the intellectual stage, Dr. Winkle reads an opening quote from R. Bracht Branham’s 1984 article from Classical Antiquity entitled The Comic as Critic. Branham highlights the ultimate scholarly disagreement regarding Lucian: what exactly is he up to? Is he merely playing with traditional rhetorical formulas, or is he a fierce topical satirist addressing the specific cultural anxieties of his second-century audience?
Lucian is an absolutely fascinating, slightly obscure figure. Born around 125 AD in Samosata (in the Levant, near modern-day Syria and Turkey), he wrote entirely in Greek and died around 180 AD. Dr. Winkle points out that Lucian is a direct contemporary of Apuleius (the North African author of The Golden Ass). Both authors represent a popular trend during the era of the “Five Good Emperors” (like Trajan, Hadrian, Antoninus Pius, and Marcus Aurelius): some of the most vibrant, cutting-edge literary work in both Greek and the Latin language was coming from the geographical fringes of the Roman Empire, blending diverse cultural ideas and swimming in the same intellectual pools of parody.
Dr. Winkle compares Lucian’s aggressive, boundary-pushing tone to the modern animated show South Park. Lucian is an “equal opportunity offender” who pulls no punches, pointing his satirical gun in all directions to mock philosophers, gods, and gullible humans alike.
The First Science Fiction: A True Story
Before tackling the main text of the day, Dr. Winkle introduces the audience to Lucian’s most famous, most ridiculous work: A True Story (or A True History). Despite the title, it is a completely wild, satirical novella that many scholars consider to be the very first work of science fiction in Western literature.
Thousands of years before Jules Verne wrote 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea or H.G. Wells wrote The Time Machine, Lucian was writing first-person narratives about sailing to the moon, traveling to Venus, encountering artificial lifeforms, and witnessing massive interplanetary warfare. The text is a relentless parody of Homer, Thucydides, and Plato.
Dr. Winkle reads a hilarious excerpt (translated by Alfred Church) where Lucian visits the “Isles of the Blessed” and manages to secure an exclusive interview with the spirit of Homer. Lucian asks the legendary poet to settle centuries of academic debate regarding his birthplace. Homer shockingly reveals he is actually from Babylon, his real name is Tigranes, and he only got the name “Homer” because he was a hostage (the Greek word homeros signifies hostage). Furthermore, Homer confirms he wrote the Iliad first, he proudly wrote all the “bad” verses the scholars complain about, and he wasn’t even blind!. It is a masterful, fourth-wall-breaking mockery of overly pedantic classical scholarship.
Alexander the False Prophet and the Snake God
While A True Story is purely fantastical, the main text for today’s episode, Alexander the False Prophet, tackles a real-world charlatan. Alexander of Abonoteichus was a religious fraud operating on the shores of the Black Sea who claimed to be the prophet of a new snake god named Glycon (meaning “sweet” or “sweetheart”).
Archaeological evidence—including coins, statues, and inscriptions—confirms that this snake cult actually existed and was wildly popular. In the text, Lucian describes his own meeting with the “prophet.” When Alexander offers his hand to be reverently kissed, Lucian leans in and brutally bites it instead to expose his fraudulence.
Lucian notes that only two groups of people were smart enough to see through Alexander’s grift: the Epicureans (who demanded empirical evidence) and the early Christians. Dr. Noe takes a moment to explain the Christian landscape of the 2nd century. This was the post-apostolic era of Polycarp, Justin Martyr, and the circulation of competing apocryphal texts like the Gospel of Thomas. Early apologists, like Irenaeus of Lyon (who wrote Adversus Haereses), were just emerging to battle the dizzying array of Gnostic and mystery cults that made charlatans like Alexander so successful.
Later, Lucian’s works were translated into the Latin language by Renaissance titans like Erasmus and Thomas More, which drew the ire of reformers like Luther and Calvin, who viewed Lucian’s mockery of religion as pure blasphemy.
The True Crime Dilemma and the Baskets of Filth
Dr. Noe reads a section of the Greek text from the Loeb edition (translated by A.M. Harmon), humorously stumbling over a typo in his script where the word philtate (my dearest) was mangled into nonsense.
In the text, Lucian addresses a friend named Celsus and admits he is embarrassed to even pen the biography of a man who realistically deserves to be thrown into the arena to be dismembered by foxes and apes. Lucian compares his writing task to the labors of Hercules cleaning the Augean Stables, warning his reader that he is basically delivering “baskets full of manure” to show the sheer volume of filth Alexander created. He also sarcastically notes that the charlatan is as great in villainy as Alexander the Great was in heroism.
Dr. Winkle notes that this dilemma mirrors modern criticisms of the “True Crime” genre. By writing about monsters, do we accidentally immortalize and valorize them? (Much like how the 1960s film Bonnie and Clyde glamorized brutal killers). Lucian struggles with the fact that simply by recording Alexander’s deeds, he is ensuring his memory survives.
Furthermore, Lucian provides a brilliant ekphrasis (a vivid, visual description) of the false prophet. Alexander was a highly successful con artist largely because he was tall, fair-skinned, had a beautiful, sweet voice, and wore highly convincing hair extensions. As the hosts point out, human beings possess a deep, flawed deference to physical beauty—we easily forgive a charlatan’s sleight of hand if they look like a god. (Dr. Noe notes that the fiery 15th-century reformer Savonarola was a rare historical exception to this rule, as portraits suggest he was not a comely man).
Sponsors: Fuel for the Classical Renaissance
To keep the philosophical inquiry flowing, the hosts thank the generous sponsors of the Ad Navseam podcast:
- Hackett Publishing: After dispensing with “Quacket Publishing”, that only accepts payment in Wonder Bread for waterfowl books, the hosts praise the legendary Hackett Publishing (celebrating 53 years!). They are the absolute gold standard for accurate, beautiful, and affordable classical translations. Use code AN2024 at hackettpublishing.com for 20% off and free shipping.
- Ratio Coffee: Dr. Noe and Dr. Winkle’s kitchens look like museums thanks to the gorgeous Ratio 8 coffee maker. Soon, the new Ratio 4 will bring barista-quality, automated pour-over coffee to a smaller, highly attainable form factor—saving travelers from the horror of hotel pod machines. Visit ratiocoffee.com and use code ANCOF1 (F for Flavorful!) for 15% off.
- The Moss Method & Latin Per Diem: Skip the rote memorization and start reading real texts from day one. Visit mossmethod.com for Dr. Noe’s ancient Greek modules, or master the Latin language with his Lingua Latina Per Se Illustrata course at latinperdiem.com.
The Gustatory Parting Shot
To close out episode 150, Dr. Noe delivers a highly textured Gustatory Parting Shot from comedian Demetri Martin:
“‘Cotton Candy’ is the perfect snack for when I’m in the mood to eat dry, scratchy fabric.”Stay far away from the snake cults, avoid the scratchy fabric, and Valete!
