Meta Description: Join Ad Navseam Ep. 196 as Dr. David Noe and Dr. Jeff Winkle dive into Hellenistic higher education, the Museum of Alexandria, and wandering hygiene specialists!
Welcome back, classical gourmands, to episode 196 of the Ad Navseam podcast! Prepare to get your fill with another delectable discussion of Greco-Roman civilization, tracing the profound depths of antiquitas straight through to the present day.
Broadcasting directly from Parnassus Vomitorium Central—the true belly button of the world—your devoted hosts return to the microphones. Today, Dr. David C. Noe is joined by the ever-amiable, seldom-punctual Dr. Jeffrey T. Winkle, who is surprisingly early! To explain their middle initials this week, the hosts lean into the educational theme: Dave’s “C” stands for “Curriculum,” and Jeff’s “T” stands for “Tuition.”
Aldi Quarters and the Heisman Stiff-Arm
Before tackling the auctores classici (classical authors), the hosts share a laugh over Jeff’s Saturday morning grocery ritual. Jeff reveals his secret to navigating Aldi: a specialized leather keychain that securely holds his Aldi quarter, ensuring he never has to beg strangers in the parking lot for a cart.
Dave, conversely, opts for a different strategy. He goes in planning to buy only two items, delivers a Heisman-style stiff-arm to the shopping carts, and ends up waddling to the checkout line with groceries clamped under his arms and between his knees!
Shout-Outs, Conexicans, and Embryonic Mark
The podcast features a delightful listener shout-out to Estella M., a Chilean listener currently living in Canada. Estella was the lucky winner of the Hackett Plato Reader from a previous drawing! Her unique geographic background reminds Jeff of a deep-cut song by the band Eddie from Ohio called “Tommy the Canexican,” about a man with dual Canadian and Mexican citizenship. We are thrilled that the podcast motivates Estella to continue her journey in Latin and ancient Greek.
We also have a new addition to the Corrigendum Committee! Joining the ranks of “Distant Ron,” “Local Will,” and “Lazy Steve” is a new listener whom the hosts dub “Embryonic Mark.” Mark has sent in a potential correction regarding episodes 174 and 175 on Lactantius. The research team is currently looking into it, and we will report back soon to see if Mark’s correction holds water.
Marrou Part 17: Higher Education in the Hellenistic Age
The core of today’s episode brings us back to H.I. Marrou’s monumental work, A History of Education in Antiquity. (And no, Jeff, despite the name similarity, he is not related to Rue McClanahan from The Golden Girls!).
We are tackling Part 2, Chapter 9: Higher Education in the Hellenistic Age. If there is a recurring theme in this chapter, it is nihil novi sub solem (nothing new under the sun). Marrou’s wry observations about ancient universities sound shockingly identical to the modern academic landscape.
Marrou notes that as education advanced to the higher stages, it became less uniform and more specialized. This era saw the rise of the Ephebia, a stage of education for upper-class young men (roughly ages 15 to 20). Following the conquests of Alexander the Great, the intense military competition between rival city-states like Athens, Sparta, and Corinth faded. Consequently, the focus of the Ephebia shifted from physical, martial training to literary and fashionable culture.
This shift completely altered the architectural landscape. Jeff drops a massive “archiflex” (archaeological flex), noting that during a recent trip to Epidaurus, he saw firsthand how the Romans built a lecture theater directly into the center of an ancient wrestling arena. As Vitruvius called it, this was the ephebium—a space dedicated to scholae (lessons) and acroasis (auditions), functioning like an ancient cross between a rumpus room and a home theater.
Wandering Lecturers and the Homeric Canon
One of the most fascinating features of the Hellenistic age was the phenomenon of the wandering academic. Cities were frequently visited by strolling poets, philosophers, and shockingly, specialists in hygiene! Dave jokes about a guy wandering down the street with a satchel full of floss, teaching the masses how to clean their “mouth stones.” In reality, these strolling lecturers functioned exactly like modern YouTube tutorial videos, masterclasses, or even educational podcasts, providing specialized instruction to eager audiences.
However, cities also retained proper, tenured teachers paid by the gymnasiarch. These men taught continuously throughout the year and focused heavily on a developing literary canon. At the center of this canon was Homer. Instructors known as Homerikoi philologoi (Homeric lovers of words) guided students through the texts.
Marrou also highlights the growth of massive libraries to support this learning, such as the Ptolemaion in Athens. Interestingly, their cataloging system was arranged by subject matter and then alphabetically by author—proving that the “PA section” of the library (where classics are housed today) has ancient roots!
The Agon: Trophies, Cooking, and Selling
Unlike modern classrooms that often prioritize a “season of sharing,” the ancient Greek classroom was fiercely competitive. The agon (contest) remained central to their culture. In 125 BC, a gymnasiarch named Menas in Sestos instituted ephebic games that included moral and academic competitions alongside athletic ones.
Students could win awards for eutaxia (good conduct), philoponia (fondness for work), and euexia (vigor). Dave humbly admits to winning a few “philoponia” awards in his middle school days. Applying modern slang to ancient concepts, the hosts deduce that the athletes winning the wrestling matches were absolutely “cooking,” while the students merely earning the perfect attendance trophies were “selling” (performing poorly).
The Museum of Alexandria and Ancient Medicine
Moving to the pinnacle of ancient scientific research, the hosts explore the legendary Museum of Alexandria. Funded by the Lagid monarchy (the Ptolemies), this institution was essentially the ancient equivalent of the MacArthur “Genius Grant.”
Eminent scholars lived entirely at the king’s expense, paying no taxes, enjoying free meals, and conducting independent research among botanical gardens and a 120,000-volume library. Yet, academic squabbling was alive and well. The ancient author Timon famously mocked the Museum, calling it a “birdcage” where they “fatten up any amount of pin pushers and readers of musty tomes who are never tired of squabbling with each other.” It sounds exactly like a modern faculty senate meeting!
The chapter concludes with a look at technical and medical education. While most technical skills were learned through simple master-apprentice relationships, medicine became highly organized. Earning a medical degree from Alexandria was the ultimate flex.
Thanks to the voluminous works of Galen and Hippocrates, Greek medicine developed into a systematic doctrine. They even produced highly specific treatises on deontology (ethics and bedside manner), instructing physicians on exactly how to sit, speak, and arrange their flowing drapery to calm a patient!
This focus on bedside manner reminds Dave of a terrible experience at the University of Iowa Hospitals. While suffering from a severe sinus infection as a graduate student, an intern refused to prescribe him antibiotics, arguing, “I’ve got the exact same thing, and I took antibiotics all weekend, and they didn’t help me at all!” Clearly, that intern skipped his Hippocratic reading on Peri euschemosynes (On Decorum).
Sponsors and Support
Suddenly, a frantic huffing and puffing is heard outside the bunker door! It is the OSABL—the Organization for Sprinting and Breathless Lecturers. Disgusted by the leisurely pace of the ancient wandering scholars, this group believes you must sprint at full speed while delivering a lecture! To avoid getting trampled, the hosts make a quick exit.
Before leaving, we must thank the incredible sponsors keeping Ad Navseam operational!
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Call for Episode 200 Audio! Ad Navseam is approaching its 200th episode! We want to hear from you. Record a short audio clip on your smartphone (10 seconds, 30 seconds, or a 5-minute diatribe) telling us what you love—or hate—about the show. Email it to dave@adnavseam.com (don’t forget the V!), and we will feature it in our milestone episode!
Credits & Gustatory Parting Shot
A huge thank you to our audio wizard, Mishka, for expertly putting the “gauzy filter” on the podcast every week, and to Jeff Scheetz for his exceptional rock tracks, Thrillseeker and Rush Hour.
We leave you today with our Gustatory Parting Shot. Fair warning, this one features some biological realism! It is pulled from Matthew Fort’s book, Sweet Honey, Bitter Lemons: Travels in Sicily on a Vespa:
“Happiness depends on sound sleep, orderly bowels, and regular meals.”
Thanks for reading, and be sure to catch the next episode as we look at articles by Alexander Souter (Did St. Paul Speak Latin?) and Anne Mahoney!
