Meta Description: Join Dr. David Noe and Dr. Jeff Winkle in Ad Navseam Episode 67 for a special holiday gift guide. From the “Injected Pastry Horns” of West Michigan to the “bad pop culture” that sparks a love for the classics, discover the perfect stocking stuffers for the Latin lover in your life. Plus, a debate on Rick Steves, the theology of St. Cyril, and why The Police are the most Classical band of the 80s.
Introduction: Dining in the Popina
Welcome back to the “Vomitorium,” listeners! It is Episode 67 of the Ad Navseam Podcast. The holiday season is upon us, and the mood in the studio is festive, relaxed, and remarkably well-fed. Dr. David Noe is feeling “prepared and ready,” having moved past the “bloom stage” of his day and straight into the “brew”. Dr. Jeff Winkle is equally content, having enjoyed a “chicken pesto pizza” at a local establishment.
This leads to an immediate, impromptu lesson in the Latin language. Dr. Noe jokingly asks if they ate at a “Popina.” For those whose Latin vocabulary is limited to Carpe Diem, Dr. Noe explains that popina is actually the Latin word for a restaurant or bistro (often one of ill repute, though we assume Dr. Winkle’s pizza place was reputable). Dr. Winkle counters with his own culinary adventure: “Chicken Tacos.” He encourages us all to Picante Diem—”Seize the Salsa”.
Shout-Out: The Cream Curl Connection
Before unrolling the scroll of gift ideas, we have a shout-out to Campbell Wiersma, a local high school junior and friend of the Winkle family. Campbell is a homeschool student currently tackling Cicero and Julius Caesar, but she is also a former employee of a bakery. This sparks a deep-dive into Dr. Winkle’s own past as a bakery employee in Hudsonville, Michigan, at Bierling’s Cream Curl Bakery. What is a “Cream Curl”? It is a pastry horn injected with cream. Dr. Winkle suggests the technical name might be an IPH (“Injected Pastry Horn”). His job was to roll the dough and feed it through a flattening machine for hours on end—a task nearly as repetitive as declining Greek verbs, but with tastier results. To Campbell, for keeping the Classics (and the pastries) alive: Macte virtute!
The Theme: Stocking Stuffers for the Classicist
The main event tonight is a curated list of gifts for the “classically oriented gift getter”. Whether you are shopping for a seasoned professor or a student just starting their journey into the Latin language, the hosts have you covered.
Jeff’s List: From Verbs to Vinyl
1. The “Tutti Verbi” (Greek Verb Handbook) First up is a tiny book that fits perfectly in a back pocket: The Complete Handbook of Greek Verbs by Marinone and Guala. Dr. Winkle admits this book “absolutely got him through grad school”. It lists hundreds of verbs and every single one of their forms. His grad school professor called it a “crutch,” but Dr. Noe prefers the term “training wheels.” You use it until you learn to walk (or translate) on your own.
2. Asterix the Gaul Next is a comic series that defies the “stocking stuffer” size constraints: Asterix. These French comics depict the Gauls holding out against the buffoonish Romans. Dr. Winkle loves them because they are available in dozens of languages. He used them to study for his French and German exams, and he even owns a copy in Latin: Asterix Apud Gothos (Asterix Among the Goths).
3. The Iliad (Fagles Translation) Specifically, Dr. Winkle recommends the Robert Fagles translation for the introduction by Bernard Knox. Knox’s essay breaks down the heroic code, explaining the conflict between Achilles (natural greatness) and Agamemnon (conventional power). It is essential reading for understanding the worldview of Homer.
4. Synchronicity by The Police
Moving to music, Dr. Winkle recommends the album Synchronicity by The Police.
Why? It is loaded with Classical and Jungian references.
- Latin: Sting sings of the Spiritus Mundi (Spirit of the World).
- Mythology: In “Wrapped Around Your Finger,” Sting rhymes “young apprentice” with “Scylla and Charybdis.” It is a daring rhyme that only a former English teacher like Sting could pull off.
5. Rome and Environs (Filippo Coarelli) This is the “hardcore archaeological guide” for the serious traveler. Unlike Rick Steves (whom Dr. Noe has a bone to pick with regarding underwear packing advice), Coarelli gives you the blueprints, the history, and the deep dive into every stone of the city.
6. Clash of the Titans (1981) Dr. Winkle recommends the cult classic film with the stop-motion animation by Ray Harryhausen. Is it a “good” movie? No. But Dr. Winkle argues we underestimate the power of “bad pop culture” to turn kids onto the right path. Seeing Perseus fight Medusa at age 10 sparked a lifelong obsession with the ancient world.
7. Twizzlers A purely nostalgic pick. Essential for road trips, apparently due to their “digestive benefits” (a claim Dr. Noe doubts).
8. The Oxford Classical Dictionary (OCD) The ultimate bathroom reader for the scholar. Open it to any page—like Jus Latii (The Latin Right)—and learn something new in two minutes.
9. The Cartoon History of the Universe (Larry Gonick)
A skeptical, funny, and surprisingly accurate visual history of the world.
10. Digital Rome (Matthew Nicholls) A digital stocking stuffer. Matthew Nicholls at the University of Reading has created a massive, walkable 3D digital model of Ancient Rome. It is a brilliant teaching tool that lets you explore the city from your computer.
11. The Name of the Rose (Umberto Eco) A historical murder mystery centered around a lost copy of Aristotle’s treatise on comedy. A must-read for book lovers.
Dave’s List: Theology, Pedagogy, and Pianos
1. St. Cyril of Alexandria and the Christological Controversy Dr. Noe starts heavy with this book by John Anthony McGuckin. It details the battle between Cyril and Nestorius over the nature of Christ. Cyril was unique among Greek fathers for knowing a little Latin, allowing him to bridge the linguistic divide of the early church. It is a “whodunit” of theology perfect for Christmas.
2. Bantam New College Latin & English Dictionary
By John Traupman. Dr. Noe calls this a “$5.99 goldmine.”
Unlike other dictionaries that use lazy derivatives (translating actio as “action”), Traupman gives idiomatic, real-world definitions.
- Actiuncula: A short law court speech.
- Actuariolum: A small, fast boat. It breaks you of bad translation habits.
3. J.N.D. Kelly’s Biographies Dr. Noe recommends anything by Kelly, particularly Golden Mouth (about John Chrysostom) and his biography of St. Jerome. He shares a hilarious anecdote about the “Synod of the Oak,” where rival bishops sent notes hoping the other would die before reaching their destination. It is high drama in the early church.
4. The Art of Teaching (Gilbert Highet)
A classic text on pedagogy. Highet argues a teacher needs three things: Memory, Kindness, and Willpower.
- Willpower: You must love the subject enough to supply motivation when the students have none. Dr. Noe once used this in a job interview and got the offer!
5. Scented Candles Yes, really. For the scholar living a life of “isolated labor,” a candle (perhaps “Bahama Breeze”) provides sensory stimulation to keep the mind focused.
6. Who Chose the Gospels? (Charles Hill) A scholarly takedown of the idea that the Gospels were chosen by a conspiracy. Hill argues that Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John were widely accepted from the very beginning.
7. Werewolves of Portland (Paul Gilbert) An instrumental guitar album by the virtuoso Paul Gilbert. It features a track titled it’s impossible to have an “Argument About Pie.” Dr. Noe tried to argue with him about it (claiming pumpkin is a waste of crust), but Paul didn’t take the bait.
8. Haydn Piano Sonatas Specifically Hoboken XVI. Dr. Noe facetiously claims, quoting Reginald Foster, that if Haydn and Cicero aren’t in heaven, he isn’t going. The music is “endlessly inventive”.
9. African Violets A botanical connection to the classics. The scientific name, Streptocarpus ionanthus, comes from the Greek ion (violet) and anthos (flower). Discovered by Baron Walter von Saint Paul in Tanzania, they are beautiful, easy to care for, and linguistically fascinating.
Sponsors: Gifts that Keep on Giving
This guide is brought to you by:
- Hackett Publishing: For the books on this list (and many more).
- The Deal: Visit hackettpublishing.com and use code AN2021 for 20% off and free shipping.
- Ratio Coffee: For the coffee lover. The Ratio 6 and Ratio 8 are works of art that brew perfect coffee.
- The Giveaway: Enter code 6567 at ratiocoffee.com/anco to win a free Ratio 6!
- The Moss Method: Give the gift of Greek. Dr. Noe’s self-paced course takes you from “Neophyte to Erudite.”
- The Deal: Visit mossmethod.com to sign up for the course and weekly office hours.
The Gustatory Parting Shot
We wrap up this festive episode with a quote from Natasha Potter. It fits the mood of the season perfectly:
“There are three means of refuge from the challenges of life: Good music, good friends, and good food.”
Whether you are eating Injected Pastry Horns or Chicken Pesto Pizza, we hope you find refuge this holiday season.
Valete! (And get stuffing).
Resources for the Greek Learner:The Moss Method: Ready to read the New Testament or Homer in the original? Visit LatinPerDiem.com to start your journey today!
